It may seem like i've forgotten about you.

but i think about you everyday

it may seem like i dont care about you anymore

but if you died right now, i'd die too

i'm sorry i havent made time

there just isnt any time left

these new people, they talk crap too. its normal.

and i dont care.

you talked crap as well, and i dont care. its normal.

everyday finding out new things about new people. meeting new people, finding out they are everything i thought they were or everything they really werent.

life is moving on, and i'm moving on.

i'm not regretting the time spent with you, it was fine while it lasted. and maybe it will happen again.

i cant make promises because i cant predict the future.

i'm trying, trying hard, but i'm not trying too hard, because its just not worth my time, and most of yall and them are not even worth it.

when i graduate it'll all just be looked back as a joke...seriously, one big laugh.

i'm not doing what the 'IN' crowd is doing, none the less am i supporting it or anything at all, i'm just letting it happen because i'm not their mom and i'm not going to tell them what to do. some of them accept me for who i am, and some of them are just plain 2 faced. once again i dont care, because i'm finding out who really cares. i'm doing what i want to do when i want to do it, whether its considered wierd, outgoing, not right, or just perfect. cool or uncool.

i've been rejected by the same person within the past month at the most 3 times. i'm not giving up, because i've learned good SOMETIMES great things come to those who wait, and i know this person is worth the wait. right now they arnt being themselves, and i'm trying to break them out of that shell. call me stupid, but thats just the nature of a girl here.

for the ones who are talkin crap and being fake to me. go ahead, continue being low and see if it bothers me. thats one thing i learned about this new change, people are going to talk crap, but never do anything about it. so why waste time worring about it. its just who they are, and they'll hopefully learn from it one day. i know who is real, and i stick to that.

overall, i go there everyday, strong, and unafraid. i'm doing it by myself, and doing what i love and what makes me happy most of all.



i've made my effort, now its your turn to make yours and prove me wrong that you wont.









i am happy.

so please dont worry about me, because i'm not worried about you.

so i've been standin all day, because of work from 12-4
and then club paris at 7.
i got there freakng early,and didnt leave til it closed at 11:30.
basically all the boys from my school were there, and a few girls too.
i was getting so tired, so fast, it was embarrassing...
i dont know what happened, maybe i was dehydrated i dont know. it was horrible
but see thing was, i would dance with one of my boys, and then get tired and tell them i wanted to rest for a little. and then another one of my guy friends would ask to dance with me and i was so horrible because i was soooooo tired from the first dance.

but it was alot of fun, i think i got to know a few of the people i have met this year at OP a little better, so i'm pretty excited about that.

and i dont know if it was a mistake or not, but i brought my sister along tonight. and it was fun, she was cool about it all. but i get this jealousy thing, when i introduce my sister to my friends. cause i feel like they end up liking her more than me ahha . i know its just so stupid, but all my guy buds were asking about her tonight. hahaha damn. sucks.

but i mean it was fun, me and her are so freaking tired.
AND i'm going to the beach tomorrow.
well dang.

its just so incredibly messed up when this girl wants to be your friend, because she hates alot of girls, and she seems interested in you.
i dont consider her a friend, since day one i havent, i'm just talking to her and stuff, i dont trust her and i know i cant, therefore i cant consider her a friend.

but when she starts trying to talk to the boy i've been talking to for the past few months, and completely trying to switch the story around on me, stuff comes between me and him, and then she turns around and was acting like she wasnt commiting the crime RIGHT there in my face.

for the past two days, she's been wondering why i havent answered her calls or text messages, and why i havent talked to her at school.

i think she FINALLY figured it out last night. thank god.
yesterday was just perfection.
it was a good day for me, because of him :]

so F*&*&)(k her. hahaha thats all i can say... she doesnt have what i have, and thats him.









Orange Park killed Forrest
it was something like 64 to 13.

daayyyuumm
lol

if i would've known that the tryouts were so early in the year for volleyball i would've gotten ready and tried to go for that.


now throughout my whole life, i've only played on soccer and softball teams.


thats why i'm not doing softball again, and i dont want to do softball.

i was in the gym watching the girls play basketball, and it got me thinking.
they dont start their conditioning til late september, and just every monday, tuesday and thursday they go to the weight room. i'm all down for the weight room. but i just dont know what i want to do. because watching the girls play basketball today, made me wanna play too. but i've never played on a team before, its always just been a "mess around" kinda ordeal.

i didnt get a chance to talk to the coach about playing but she told me to come to her any other time.
so i'll think about it.
but i dunno i'm having second thoughts.
i'll give soccer a try all the way up to maybe tryouts and then we'll see.

yeah. i think.
anyway, today i had conditioning, and we usually run a full 10 minutes around the track without stopping. for the past 3 weeks of conditioning i ran the full 10 minutes ONE time.
what i didnt know, was that they bumped up that 10 to 12. and i surprisingly ran the full 12.
i didnt believe it.
but it was good, i didnt good. i was happy.
my abs are gonna be soooo fine before next summer.
and i'll be looking hot at homecoming :D

yeah i went to my friend Christian's house, his parents did a little surprise 18th b-day thing for him. and his family and neighbors were there. i went over with my parents and sister and celebrated. we ate at the house, and then out for icecream and then went in the hottub. and i just got home cause i spent the night there with my sister.
we watched the Pianist last night.
i feel bad for the kid, cause he just moved here a year ago, from living in california basically his whole life. and so takin him out and hanging out with him all night hopefully showed him a good time before he and i had to go to work this morning.

later this afternoon we are going to the gym.
i'm soooo tired out, i dont wanna work, and tomorrow is school.
BUT i went shopping this weekend :]

friday night i went to the ridgeview vs. Orange park game. of course we won :] this time 14-7

saturday i went shopping, because basically almost all my friends bailed on my ass and such. i didnt care, i've done it to some of them, and i'm glad i got to hang out with Lena after she got off work :]


i'm off

but as far as the past few days...
they have been pretty crazy so i'd say.
friday was the football game, we killed Bishop Kenny 62 to 10 :]

and then i met a boy through my friend Kevin. his name is Ricky. 16 and goes to Middleberg.
we like each other alot and we are trying to get to know each other.

it was working for us until last night, it was like we, well HE was moving too fast. we promised each other that we arnt going to do anything for a month, and if we still like each other after a month and arnt fed up with each other or anything like that, then we'll make it offcial.

he turns 17 on the 1st of september. i think i'm gonna take him out to dinner.

but the best thing about him is, basically he is my TWIN. when it comes to morals, veiws on life, and interests we have SO MUCh in commen its crazy

thing is, i think i like my best friend as well. i'm not going to hurt anybody here, not on purpose and not intendingly....he has been there for me since day one of OPHS. and i'm so thankful for it. i dont want to screw things up with him and i'm scared i might be screwing up a chance to be with him, by trying to see if me and ricky are meant to be.
its life, and its too short to regret or give up an oppertunity. but if saying no keeps something from getting ruined then i'll say no. at least for now.

she is bitching at me because you know that book.... A MILLION LITTLE PIECES.
i HATE reading, and she wanted me to read the first chapter of hte book and give it back because it was her friends and kelly wanted to read it.
well she is reading something else for school right now, and i got REALLY interested in the book and i read to page 22 in the last two days. and i wanted to borrow it for ONE MORE DAY (tomorrow) and she came in my room and threw a fit and took the book outta my book bag, tried to get my mom to tell me off but my mom was on my side, and then i got fed up i put my fist up to her and pushed her outta my room and she tried to slap me.

basically, i hate when she is so immature about shit.